Finally Got Spanked August 18, 2006Posted by Chelle in R/L accounts of my spankings.
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I finally got spanked although I would have rather been spanked by “B” but I guess some play is better than no play. I am pretty sore as I sit here and write this but it’s something I have missed therefore I am in a pretty happy state right now. I have some pretty heavy welts and bruising but I think that’s because it has been five and a half months since I have been spanked ….and I mark easy regardless. Something about getting spanked makes me feel better ….not sure what it is but it’s like the whole weight of the world dropped off my shoulders and I feel at peace and less stress too. And the friend that spanked me did a very good job …this weekend we are getting togather for some more spanking play ….that should hold me over until I move to Ohio to be with “B”. It took me over a week to actually finally give in to being spanked by my friend ….I guess I just like to be loyal to “B” ….and I was trying to wait until we see each other again but I was so stressed out …and missing it so much that I finally gave in …he knows that her and I get togather for spanking play and he is ok with it but I prefer him to be the one spanking me!
He has a very hard time spanking me the way my friend spanked me earlier tonite. He would never put bruises on me the way she did ….it’s like he is afraid or something, not sure why because I haven’t figured him out that far yet. I think alot of it is because of the abuse I endured with my soon to be ex husband and he knows about alot of that and it bothers him. Not that I need to have bruises after a spanking but I would like to cry …and he has yet to get me to that point of flowing tears ….he has spanked me almost to tears but I am not quite there yet with him and that is where I want to be at in our spanking relationship. All I want from him is to not be treated special when it comes to spanking ….and so far in the sessions we have had he has treated me special ….I don’t like that….I can’t even feel his authority over me when he does that. I know he spanks others alot harder than he has spanked me ….so we will see how it goes when we see each other again although I have my doubts about it all.
Our First Meeting and My First Spanking 03/05/2005 April 13, 2006Posted by Chelle in R/L accounts of my spankings.
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The first spanking I recieved from "WK" was the first time we met in March of 2005. Now we had talked for almost six years online before we even met so when we first met it was like we had already known each other for years, and essentially we did know each other quite well from our chats online everyday for six years. After six years of chats we both decided it was time for us to meet and although I was quite nervous I wanted to meet this man who I had essentially fallen in love with online. Yes it's possible to fall in love online without ever meeting the person although before this happened to me I was a very skeptical person about that very thing, but it happened to me. So he made arrangments to fly to Texas for our first meeting and it was exciting but nerve wracking for me as well. But when he walked into my apartment and our eyes met that was it …the pivitol moment that I knew I loved him. We had a great time togather and we had the same connection that we had online so we both knew that our feelings were for real. At the time the only thing that I worried about was our age difference but it worried "WK" more than it did me, I have never seen age as a factor and in my past I had always been with older Doms who were at least ten years older than me but "WK" was 26 years older than me ….but once I met him his age didn't matter to me anymore! I love him and he loves me and that is the important factor.
Then came the time for my first spanking from him and I was very nervous and a little apprehensive too. Because of my past D/s relationship that turned into severe abuse for many years I was afraid to trust but I also knew in my heart that I was safe with "WK" because I just felt it with him. It's very hard to describe because most people would think that I would have a hard time with trusting any Dom after the abuse I went through with my ex, but trusting him came nautral to me and I think it's because of the way he presented himself to me and the way he takes things slowly in our relationship. This first spanking was for some rules I had clearly broken and honestly I was testing him a whole lot to see if he was going to pass my test. I am the type of "brat" that will test to see if the Dom is serious about punishing me. The first spanking was disappointing and it is due to several reasons, "WK" is aware of all the abuse I had endured in my past relationship and I think that he went easy on me due to that reason , and because I have some scarring from the past abuse and that bothered him with the first spanking, and also because it was the first time we met and he didn't want to push his luck and be to hard on me.
Now at the time of this first spanking, and when things didn't turn out like I expected I was very disappointed but I didn't say anything to him because I didn't want to make him feel bad. After he left for back home, I cried for three days because I just felt that I was the reason why the spanking didn't go well. I stared to over analyze things about the whole thing and started to blame my weight problem, my age, and my past circumstances with the way it went. Of course I didn't let him know how I was feeling because I am the type who withdraws her feelings and keeps things inside instead of wanting to talk things out and that is because that was how I was conditioned in my first relationship , I was not allowed to talk about my feelings with my first Dom and I was expected to keep them to myself so that is how I handled it with "WK".