This Brat’s Corner Of The World

I am not feeling so hot tonite. I had a miserable day, and nite …couldn’t sleep last nite …all I do is cry anymore. Crying is my release in order to feel better and I usually do until I feel the need to cry again that is. Last nite talking on the phone with “B” was a little better than it has been lately but I know he isn’t telling me things or I guess I should say I have that feeling.

I was supposed to go to Galveston this weekend with some friends but I decided not to because they are going to some private spanking party and frankly I don’t want to be around spankers…spanking …or anything that has to do with spanking ….it’s just to hard to even think about spanking and D/s at this point in my life. I don’t even feel submissive anymore ….I hate it I think that D/s and spanking as I know it is gone forever from my life and it’s sad to think about….I end up in tears everytime I think about it

It’s been five months and no spanking, no D/s …and not seeing “B” …all of that combined along with the other stressors in my life and people wonder why I am always crying…..well hell I don’t think life can get any worse and if it can then shoot me now is how I feel! If I can’t have D/s,spanking and “B” in my life then there is no life as far as I am concerned and that is how I feel about it. I just want to be happy for once….if I can achieve that in this lifetime then I can say all this was worth it!